My Visit Home-pt. 2: Family, Friend and Fun

Continued from part one...

The other part of my trip home was much cheerie, since it didn't involve death. That part was seeing my friends. I have many friends with whom I keep in touch back home, and I was able to see almost all of them during my time back.

Just so we're clear on the time-frame, it went like this: I arrived home late Sunday night. I had all day Monday to myself, then flew out to British Columbia early Tuesday morning. I flew back to Hamilton very late Thursday night and stayed in Ontario until Wednesday afternoon, when I drove into Toronto and then flew home.

On Monday, Shane came down and we went out to East Side's. I miss bar and grill restaurants like East Side's-it's an entire class of restaurants that just doesn't exist in the U.K. But even more than that, I miss Shane. Shane and I were so close in undergrad we were periodically accused of being "more than friends", often by our respective girlfriends, who were clearly just jealous. Anyway, it was like old times, and was great. We ate (far less than we used to-yay for weight loss!), caught up and just chilled. Shane's doing a business postgrad at the University of Waterloo, which he loves and told me all about, and I filled him in on the ever-exciting world of nanoscale semiconductor physics. He stayed awake throughout the entire thing, because he's a good friend, and also a huge nerd like me.

After my tip to B.C. for the memorial (see part 1, above), I had crunch time for seeing my friends. Friday evening was spent with just my family; I then went up to Guelph to visit an old flame, G. I then split my remaining time into three portions.

Saturday was my replacement Christmas dinner with my family and a few friends. Specifically, Dana, my long-time girlfriend from undergrad came down with her current boyfriend, Nick. Shane and his girlfriend Michelle (with whom I'm also close) and Su (one of my few remaining close friends from high school) and her boyfriend Rob rounded out the lot. My mom prepared a proper Christmas dinner-turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, the whole shooting match. It was very good, and everyone enjoyed themselves, both during the meal and after. There are a ton more photos, but I won't inundate this post with them. Again, it was fantastic to catch up with everyone again. Most are still in some form of school, or transitioning from one form to another (i.e. Dana, who is to start a postgrad in Australia this coming February-very exciting!). The atmosphere was both truly gregarious, and it really did feel like being home.

Sunday saw people trickle in starting in early afternoon, and progressing on to a dinner out. Because I was not making my mom cook, I had a few more people come down. So, the final tally was Kirill & Emily, Adam & Christine, Joy & Heather, Jamie and Brian & his fianée, Natalia. Dave was supposed to make it, but his car died. We chatted at my place for awhile, then went out for another nice bar-and-grill meal. Again, it was nice to get some face time again. In many cases on both days, the people with whom I was visiting were those with whom I'd kept in touch through email, instant-messaging or whatnot. but it's always different when you get a chance to sit down and just talk.

Finally, I went into Toronto with Kirill & Emily on Sunday night, and stayed there until Tuesday. This gave me more time with them, plus Brian, Wayne, Steven and Desiree. Lenita had been scheduled to join us, but unfortunately the factory at which she's chief engineer had massive problems (somebody crashed a forklift, which is pretty funny, if you ask me), so I wasn't able to connect up with her. Which is sad, but I have no doubt we'll connect soon enough. I've just gotta convince her to drag her ass over to the right-hand side of the Atlantic. When I came back from that, I met up with Howard, one of my longest-standing friends, and the guy with whom I was arguably the closest through many parts of high school.

WARNING: PHILOSOPHICAL PONTIFICATION AHEAD
OK, so here, as the bard says, is the rub: I've been gone for over a year, and it's been nearly that long since I was last home. Thus, with this trip comes a taking-stock. Because this is obviously a major turning-point-time for most people. Within the first few years post-undergrad, people's lives change. Nowhere is this more evident that amongst my friends. During the time I was back, I spent time with one married couple, four engaged couples and three long-term (one-year or more) couples, plus one member of an engaged couple (and thankfully for my sanity, three single people). Within these twenty people, the majority have careers (not just jobs), many now own their own houses, cars and so forth, and the majority are well and truly on their way to living the rest of their lives. This gives me an interesting perspective, as I'm still seemingly mired in academia, and also gives me an opportunity for intro- and retrospection.

Even those friends that are still in some phase of school seem to have some sort of focus and direction, a rudder to help steer their sails. While this may be naught but an illusion, it provides stark contrast to the way I feel about my current direction. A strange thing happened as I got older-I became less sure of myself, or perhaps I simply can now realise how uncertain I'd always been. In undergrad, I thought I had it all figured out-I wanted success, power, money. I wanted to be the leader of my field, always pushing myself harder for greater commercial and public success. Now, I'm not sure. So much seems like a question mark to me. I don't know exactly what I want to do with my degree. I don't know where I want to live my life. I don't know exactly what I want from that life.

Some things have become clearer to me. I have realised the importance of knowing what you want, and I realise now that it is this that university can help you define, more than anything else. I realise that happiness, and loving what you do is more important than I'd given it credit for. I'd long figured I'd work wherever and however I could make the most money. Now, I can better understand the importance of doing something for which you have passion. And most of all, it's become more important to me to have someone special in my life. I'd always surmised that friends, associates and acquaintances would be enough-and in many ways, they are. But there's still something missing. I'm not going to swell on this for too long, as I've been mulling over the wording for a long-overdue post on love and relationships that I will post soon; suffice it to say that it's something that's missing. And I feel that absence more than I used to.

So, does this worry me? Not really. Maybe it should, but I actually find it kind of refreshing. Much of my life has been an attempt to control my surroundings, under the false belief that I could do so. For maybe the first time, I have a direction, but am comfortable letting some things just happen. I know the major things I want out of life, and I'm finally relaxing enough to learn how to get them. I have good friends, I have some skills, and I am willing to work for what I want, when the situation arises. I may not know where I'll be in ten years; but I have a good feeling it'll be somewhere I like.

I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance.

-Socrates