My letter to Capital One

As many of you who know me in person are probably aware, Capital One recently decided to screw me by upping my Visa's interest rate to a whopping 39.9% While I generally don't carry a balance (so this shouldn't affect me), I cannot stand for that level of greed. What they didn't know was that I'd recently started working, which made me a much more desirable credit holder. So it was very easy for me to get a different card, but I dragged me feet about quitting Capital One. No longer. This is the letter I have written to them. Please let anyone you know to never, ever go with Capital One for anything, they will rip you off at the first chance they get.

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From: Dan James, Visa Card Account (REDACTED)
(My address REDACTED)

To: Capital One
350 Euston Road
London, NW1 3JJ

March 12, 2010

Dear Capital One:

I am writing to you today regarding a letter I received in the autumn of last year. This letter relates to an increase to my interest rate from the already-high 31.9% to the truly astronomical 39.9%. I am writing today to ask that you cancel my account effective immediately (I will also be calling your customer service department to do the same). I apologise for not calling the opt-out line in time, or writing earlier, but I got really busy at work and it completely slipped my mind.

Oh yes, work. You see, that’s the irony of this whole situation. When I signed up for your extremely-high-rate credit card, I was a student, so I could understand why my credit rating would be minimal and I would only qualify for such an exorbitant rate. But the irony is that-having started working on the 15th of September-I had planned to call you literally that exact same day to inform you of my employment.

You see, I believe in brand loyalty and will quite happily stick with a company that treats me well. So I thought it was fair to give you a chance to decrease my APR to something more reasonable given my amended circumstances before I cancelled my card and went with one of your competitors. And I do believe that I warrant a decrease in my APR (MBNA agree, incidentally, given that they immediately furnished me with a 12% APR card). You see, having moved from my Ph.D. studies into the working world, I am now a solutions implementation manager for a major blue-chip technology firm. This is a position with an excellent degree of upward mobility and salary progression, which is likely to keep me a happily-spending consumer for a very long time. Given that I paid my full balance on essentially every statement, it is safe to say I would be a fairly valuable credit asset going forward and a very low credit risk.

But sadly for you, I will not be your credit asset. Not now, nor ever again. You cited the current economic woes as your reason for this rate hike against me, a low-risk dependable customer. I find it ironic, however, that an economic crisis which has made it cheaper for companies such as yourself to borrow and lend money than ever before in the history of money would somehow make it more expensive for you to do just that. I believe, therefore, that this is merely yet another thinly-veiled cash grab by a greedy, short-sighted, manipulative corporation, too long fed on complacent consumers and lax national lending institutions. So you can consider me an ex-customer.

Congratulations Capital One: instead of ensuring that I was a happy and content customer for life, you have guaranteed an angry and embittered consumer in one of your prime demographics (the 18-34 urban professional with disposable income). You have ensured that I will forever spread word of your ill deeds to all of my peers, colleagues and friends, all of whom are in the same demographic. I will do everything I can, in short, to reduce the number of credit card holders you have for as long as I am able to do so (or until my bile and malice towards you runs out, whichever comes first). I hope that when you evaluate the efficacy of increasing your interest rates, you will factor me in as a loss, even though timing forbade me from calling the special opt-out line you’d set up.

All things considered, Capital One, I’m not sure this was your best decision. Now, I’m not a fool. I know that this letter is unlikely to ever percolate to the appropriate echelons of your obsidian and monolithic corporate empire such that it could truly have any impact. Further, I have no doubt that your deceitful and conniving ways will forever ensnare new financial victims to your predatory practices. You will survive and likely even thrive despite my departure. But so will I, free from the Venus fly trap of your ravenous greed and avarice. I wish you nothing short of complete bankruptcy and truly hope that others will have seen the light as I have and flee your grasp. When a five-minute trip to MoneySupermarket.com or any number of other comparison sites reveals dozens of cards with less than one-third of your interest rate, I can only hope that my fellow consumers have the foresight to act as I have.

In summary, Capital One, I hope you can take this to heart somehow. I know that we live in a world of endless consumerism and that the spectrum of consumer runs from those deserving of the trust implicit in a low credit rating to those on the edge of ruination. I believe that capitalism gives you the right to profit shamelessly from those who lack the insight or financial fortitude to constrain their spending; though I disagree with your supposed supposition that you have the imperative to capitalise on their misery. Short of sending you the ghosts of credit lending past, present and future, I feel I cannot be clearer. You have turned me from a customer-for-life into someone who will always sing your evils and dream of your damnation and insolvency. I am voting with my wallet and that is a vote you will never again get.


Sincerely


Dan James

To-do for Thesis

OK, I realise I haven't posted anything on my blog or facebook Notes page for a long time, but I'm hoping some people will actually see this (and I'm going to tag you to make sure!). The reason for doing so is that I want you all to help me out with something.

As many or all of you know, I am in the final stages of the Ph.D. from hell. I'm currently writing up my thesis, and have two experimental chapters to go, plus the summary, before I can submit. My hard, very final deadline is April 30th for the submission of the thesis but I'd prefer to be done a little before then so I can have a shot of getting my viva and corrections done in time to maybe make the July graduation period (the deadline to be done is generally in early or mid June for this, and I have to allow a month for my examiners to read my thesis, plus a week or so to do corrections, etc.)

To that end, I have posted below a very very ambitious schedule for what I still have to do, and when I hope to have it done by. Most of it should be very self-explanatory, I believe.

I want you guys to be my conscience. I don't necessarily need constant checks, as that would presumably eat up a chunk of time in and of itself. However the odd poke and prod would be helpful, or a periodic "how are things going". I'll probably also post either in here or on my facebook status as I pass each task listed below. So what I want is to make sure that everyone knows what my intent is. That way, I can't back down. By making it public, I make it much more cast in stone and FORCE myself to get this shit done. So apply guilt, guile, cajoling and so forth as you see fit, but more than anything else, please be aware of this schedule. Knowing that my friends know of what I have yet to do and how much I'm staying on track will hopefully be the incentive to develop the work ethic so long lacking in my doctorate.

Cheers,

Dan

The Schedule (with deadlines):

18/01/2010: Download Raw Data from lab PCs

19/01/2010: Graph existing pertinent data using OriginPro

19/01/2010: Sift out useful data from newly-downloaded raw data

20/01/2010: Graph new data using OriginPro

20/01/2010: Create rough outline for chapter 4 (electrical characterization)

22/01/2010: Have bulk of literature done for chapter 4

25/01/2010: Write first draft of chapter 4, including literature and experimental results

29/01/2010: Prepare graphs for chapter 5 (metastable memory effect) in OriginPro

01/02/2010: Download bulk of literature for chapter 5

02/02/2010: Create outline for chapter 5

06/02/2010: Write first draft of chapter 5

22/02/2010: Fill out chapters 4 and 5 with additional literature if need be

24/02/2010: Write summary

28/02/2010: Complete first edit of work

05/03/2010: Incorporate edits from external people (i.e. any other students, PostDocs, or other friends etc. that are helping me edit)

12/03/2010: Final polishing and checking done

15/03/2010: Submit