Friday, January 18, 2008

65 Percent Perfect

So, according to that greatest bastion of journalist integrity, the Daily Mail, there is a list of 20 attributes that women find ideal in a guy. All told, I think I come out OK. Here's the list:
  1. At least 5'10". Yup, 6'0" to be exact.
  2. Good-looking. A matter of opinion of course, but don't think I can give myself the nod for this one. I'm not bad-looking, but neither am I fending off the "world's most beautiful people" award requests. Average-looking is a more suitable descriptor, I'd say.
  3. 12.5 stone. That's about 175lbs or 80kg for those of you living in countries that don't use such outdated units of measurement. Also well below my current weight; I'm about 14.5stone/200lbs/92kg at the moment.
  4. Earns more than £30,000. Um, no, sadly the life of a student doesn't entail 30grand salaries. Soon enough, though, I should easily be in this range.
  5. Blue eyes. Yup
  6. Short, dark-brown hair. Indeed; very short at the moment, actually.
  7. Medium build. I might be a little on the large side of medium, but I think I can still qualify.
  8. BA degree. I'm going to give myself the points for this, even though I have a B.Sc., because the article elucidates it somewhat by saying that it's a university education that's valued, rather than specifically the B.A. and I'm the process of going for my Ph.D., so I have no dearth of university education. Plus, chicks dig engineers right? Right? Anybody?
  9. Never been married. Another point for me.
  10. No children. Nope, no children here.
  11. Three previous serious relationships. Well, only one really. A second that could've been had the situation been different, but I'd really have to push the definition of "serious" to be able to count three.
  12. Clean-shaven. After much persuasion, I bid adieu about a year and a half ago to the goatee I sported in undergrad, so yes, I am back to being smooth and baby-faced.
  13. Drives silver Mercedes. If by "silver Mercedes" you mean "black bicycle", then yes. But realistically, probably not.
  14. Enjoys cinema. Even though I haven't been out as much as I'd like of late, going to the cinema is one of my favourite pastimes.
  15. Likes eating out. Ignoring the obvious double entendre here, I don't like cooking, and do enjoy a wide variety of well-prepared food. Though I don't eat out often, that's a financial decision (see #4), not a prefernce. I love dining out.
  16. Has had few than six sexual partners. Well, this one's a little personal, so let's just skip to the next question.
  17. Owns a £300,000 home. Can we just assume I'm going to lose points on any of the characteristics related to actually having money?
  18. Doesn't smoke. I hate cigarette smoke, and-at 27 years old-have never even smoked a single cigarette.
  19. Dislikes football. True for either American football or actual football (a.k.a. soccer). Sports are just not my cup of tea. The only potential exceptions are quite rare-an odd game of hockey perhaps, a little baseball from time to time and Olympic women's beach volleyball.
  20. Likes pets. I was always a cat person when I was a kid, but am increasingly a dog person. I'd love to have either, but sadly my current living situation (a tiny two-bedroom apartment whose residents aren't home between 9AM and 7PM every day and have no money for vet bills etc) is hardly conducive to a happy puppy. But I get the points for this, because I do love pets.
The article specifies a few other things where I might score some bonus points as well. Specifically, the "wacky" sense of humour. I think I can lay claim to that (sometimes bordering on juvenile and/or offensive, but wacky nonetheless). Also, being a cuddly lover. And finally, apparently some women are looking for men who are starting to bald (although the example given is Bruce Willis, which is a pretty high bar to clear. After all, I've never managed to drive a big-ass truck across a collapsing highway while fleeing an F35 Joint Strike Fighter and shouting epithets and witty one-liners).

So, there you go. From the 20-point list, I score a solid 65%, with a few that are liable to get checked off within the first few years of me finishing my degree and actually locating a salary. Not bad eh? Ladies, you know how to reach me. After posting this, I can only imagine the come-ons will start pouring in!