My letter to Capital One

As many of you who know me in person are probably aware, Capital One recently decided to screw me by upping my Visa's interest rate to a whopping 39.9% While I generally don't carry a balance (so this shouldn't affect me), I cannot stand for that level of greed. What they didn't know was that I'd recently started working, which made me a much more desirable credit holder. So it was very easy for me to get a different card, but I dragged me feet about quitting Capital One. No longer. This is the letter I have written to them. Please let anyone you know to never, ever go with Capital One for anything, they will rip you off at the first chance they get.

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From: Dan James, Visa Card Account (REDACTED)
(My address REDACTED)

To: Capital One
350 Euston Road
London, NW1 3JJ

March 12, 2010

Dear Capital One:

I am writing to you today regarding a letter I received in the autumn of last year. This letter relates to an increase to my interest rate from the already-high 31.9% to the truly astronomical 39.9%. I am writing today to ask that you cancel my account effective immediately (I will also be calling your customer service department to do the same). I apologise for not calling the opt-out line in time, or writing earlier, but I got really busy at work and it completely slipped my mind.

Oh yes, work. You see, that’s the irony of this whole situation. When I signed up for your extremely-high-rate credit card, I was a student, so I could understand why my credit rating would be minimal and I would only qualify for such an exorbitant rate. But the irony is that-having started working on the 15th of September-I had planned to call you literally that exact same day to inform you of my employment.

You see, I believe in brand loyalty and will quite happily stick with a company that treats me well. So I thought it was fair to give you a chance to decrease my APR to something more reasonable given my amended circumstances before I cancelled my card and went with one of your competitors. And I do believe that I warrant a decrease in my APR (MBNA agree, incidentally, given that they immediately furnished me with a 12% APR card). You see, having moved from my Ph.D. studies into the working world, I am now a solutions implementation manager for a major blue-chip technology firm. This is a position with an excellent degree of upward mobility and salary progression, which is likely to keep me a happily-spending consumer for a very long time. Given that I paid my full balance on essentially every statement, it is safe to say I would be a fairly valuable credit asset going forward and a very low credit risk.

But sadly for you, I will not be your credit asset. Not now, nor ever again. You cited the current economic woes as your reason for this rate hike against me, a low-risk dependable customer. I find it ironic, however, that an economic crisis which has made it cheaper for companies such as yourself to borrow and lend money than ever before in the history of money would somehow make it more expensive for you to do just that. I believe, therefore, that this is merely yet another thinly-veiled cash grab by a greedy, short-sighted, manipulative corporation, too long fed on complacent consumers and lax national lending institutions. So you can consider me an ex-customer.

Congratulations Capital One: instead of ensuring that I was a happy and content customer for life, you have guaranteed an angry and embittered consumer in one of your prime demographics (the 18-34 urban professional with disposable income). You have ensured that I will forever spread word of your ill deeds to all of my peers, colleagues and friends, all of whom are in the same demographic. I will do everything I can, in short, to reduce the number of credit card holders you have for as long as I am able to do so (or until my bile and malice towards you runs out, whichever comes first). I hope that when you evaluate the efficacy of increasing your interest rates, you will factor me in as a loss, even though timing forbade me from calling the special opt-out line you’d set up.

All things considered, Capital One, I’m not sure this was your best decision. Now, I’m not a fool. I know that this letter is unlikely to ever percolate to the appropriate echelons of your obsidian and monolithic corporate empire such that it could truly have any impact. Further, I have no doubt that your deceitful and conniving ways will forever ensnare new financial victims to your predatory practices. You will survive and likely even thrive despite my departure. But so will I, free from the Venus fly trap of your ravenous greed and avarice. I wish you nothing short of complete bankruptcy and truly hope that others will have seen the light as I have and flee your grasp. When a five-minute trip to MoneySupermarket.com or any number of other comparison sites reveals dozens of cards with less than one-third of your interest rate, I can only hope that my fellow consumers have the foresight to act as I have.

In summary, Capital One, I hope you can take this to heart somehow. I know that we live in a world of endless consumerism and that the spectrum of consumer runs from those deserving of the trust implicit in a low credit rating to those on the edge of ruination. I believe that capitalism gives you the right to profit shamelessly from those who lack the insight or financial fortitude to constrain their spending; though I disagree with your supposed supposition that you have the imperative to capitalise on their misery. Short of sending you the ghosts of credit lending past, present and future, I feel I cannot be clearer. You have turned me from a customer-for-life into someone who will always sing your evils and dream of your damnation and insolvency. I am voting with my wallet and that is a vote you will never again get.


Sincerely


Dan James

To-do for Thesis

OK, I realise I haven't posted anything on my blog or facebook Notes page for a long time, but I'm hoping some people will actually see this (and I'm going to tag you to make sure!). The reason for doing so is that I want you all to help me out with something.

As many or all of you know, I am in the final stages of the Ph.D. from hell. I'm currently writing up my thesis, and have two experimental chapters to go, plus the summary, before I can submit. My hard, very final deadline is April 30th for the submission of the thesis but I'd prefer to be done a little before then so I can have a shot of getting my viva and corrections done in time to maybe make the July graduation period (the deadline to be done is generally in early or mid June for this, and I have to allow a month for my examiners to read my thesis, plus a week or so to do corrections, etc.)

To that end, I have posted below a very very ambitious schedule for what I still have to do, and when I hope to have it done by. Most of it should be very self-explanatory, I believe.

I want you guys to be my conscience. I don't necessarily need constant checks, as that would presumably eat up a chunk of time in and of itself. However the odd poke and prod would be helpful, or a periodic "how are things going". I'll probably also post either in here or on my facebook status as I pass each task listed below. So what I want is to make sure that everyone knows what my intent is. That way, I can't back down. By making it public, I make it much more cast in stone and FORCE myself to get this shit done. So apply guilt, guile, cajoling and so forth as you see fit, but more than anything else, please be aware of this schedule. Knowing that my friends know of what I have yet to do and how much I'm staying on track will hopefully be the incentive to develop the work ethic so long lacking in my doctorate.

Cheers,

Dan

The Schedule (with deadlines):

18/01/2010: Download Raw Data from lab PCs

19/01/2010: Graph existing pertinent data using OriginPro

19/01/2010: Sift out useful data from newly-downloaded raw data

20/01/2010: Graph new data using OriginPro

20/01/2010: Create rough outline for chapter 4 (electrical characterization)

22/01/2010: Have bulk of literature done for chapter 4

25/01/2010: Write first draft of chapter 4, including literature and experimental results

29/01/2010: Prepare graphs for chapter 5 (metastable memory effect) in OriginPro

01/02/2010: Download bulk of literature for chapter 5

02/02/2010: Create outline for chapter 5

06/02/2010: Write first draft of chapter 5

22/02/2010: Fill out chapters 4 and 5 with additional literature if need be

24/02/2010: Write summary

28/02/2010: Complete first edit of work

05/03/2010: Incorporate edits from external people (i.e. any other students, PostDocs, or other friends etc. that are helping me edit)

12/03/2010: Final polishing and checking done

15/03/2010: Submit

What's with the British... screenless windows

Well another day I should be writing my thesis, another bit of waffle about the perplexing nature of the UK. This is one which I've actually noticed extends beyond the UK. I've actually observed this phenomenon in every country I've visited outside of North America: England, Scotland, Northern Ireland, Ireland, Turkey, France, Germany, Portugal, Poland, Latvia, Estonia, Finland, Tunisia, Italy and Switzerland:

Windows without screens.

Now this just baffles me. Sure, the countries I just listed don't have the same problems with biting insects that we do in North America (though I'd wager that Turkey and Tunisia have some issues in the heat of summer). But none of them are devoid of insects. This very summer, I've had to kill about a dozen flies in my kitchen because I like to have the windows open. And because I have a hard time cooking without filling the kitchen full of smoke, but that's another issue and beside the point.

In North America, no problem. The screen keeps them out. That little $5 piece of plastic mesh allows me to see out, allows the breeze to come in, but keeps out 6-legged flying friends out. It's simple and effective. Sure you have to wash it every now and again, but so what?

This one, I really don't understand. We're not talking about high technology or fantastic costs. It doesn't dramatically alter your view or add any real inconvenience. So why not have a screen? Are we pro-malaria now?

See the rest of my "What's with the British..." series.

What's with the British... the case of the missing top sheet!

This particular "What's with the British" segment isn't a rant; it's not something that bothers me, just something I find puzzling, even though it's almost completely inconsequential. The British don't seem to believe in top sheets.

Let me explain. I'm used to what I now assume is the North American way of making a bed. You have a bottom sheet, with fitted corners. This is followed by a flat top sheet, then the blanket. This has several advantages, but the main two are that if it's hot, you can take the blanket off, but still have something over you in which to wrap yourself; additionally, the blanket stays cleaner and thus requires less washing, as it never really comes into contact with those who are sleeping in the bed. I realise you then need to wash the top sheet more, but it's a lot easier than wrestling with a duvet cover.

So why do the British omit this sheet, putting the blanket right on top of the bottom sheet? I have no idea. Maybe it's a cost saving thing, maybe it's because it rarely gets hot enough to only have a sheet rather than a blanket. I dunno. It's a puzzlement.

See the rest of my "What's with the British..." series.

What's with the British... street signs

Navigating around anywhere with which you're unfamiliar is always tricky. You don't know the main streets, much less the smaller cross streets, you don't know where one-way streets are and are not, etc. Thus, the road system should be setup to make this as painless as possible. One of the ways you can do this is through street signs. If someone tells you "turn right on Oxford road, then left on Smith avenue", it obviously makes it a load easier if those streets are labelled. Cities are therefore kind in labelling these streets well. Or so I thought. Let's compare a hypothetical corner in Canada to one in the UK, shall we. Here's a random street corner from a fairly small street in Toronto. It happens to be near where I used to live and is a very reasonable facsimile for countless intersection across Canada. I have labelled the potential locations for the street sign with red dots.

The potential locations are:

1. About a meter in from one of the corners, on an 2.5-metre pole.

That's it. That is the only place it will ever be. The signs look like this:

This will be the case for every single intersection. If you are going along a street and pass five cross streets, you will see each cross street labelled, and will see the name of the street you're on five times (helping confirm the street name hasn't changed, etc.). The only exception to this is for major streets where in addition to these signs, there will be a gigantic sign hanging above the street itself, to make it easier for motorists to see. That will look something like this:

That's it. Consistent. Predictable. Visible. Obvious. Easy to find, easy to read. It doesn't matter if you don't know the city well, you will damn well know what street you're on at all times. It doesn't matter at which point you get on the street, because every intersection is clearly labelled in the same manner.

Then we come to Britain. Oh Britain. My only thought is that the Ministry of Transport is secretly running psychological experiments disguised as a guessing game. Because they don't locate the signs in any way that makes any damn sense. Let's look at a fairly typical intersection in Manchester:

The street sign(s) (there may be zero, one or two), may be in any of the following locations:

1. One the corner on a pole (very, very rare, I think I've seen this about twice in four years).
2. On the main street (on any of the four corners, but only one at most).
3. On the side street. Again, only in one location. Note that this means if you are driving along the main street in the right direction, you will see no labelling for the side street at all.
4. About a foot off the ground on a fence surrounding the house. This may be as far down the side street as 20 metres or so.
5. Behind a bush in front of someone's house. Again, might be as far as 20 metres down.
6. On the side of one of the houses, about 3 metres off the ground.
7. Nowhere at all (happy guessing time!)

Note that not only are the signs in any number of different, unpredictable locations, not only are they often obscured by trees, bushes, fences, roof overhangs, etc., not only do they only ever face one direction at most (so if you're going the other way, you're basically screwed). But on top of all of that, they often just don't have a sign at all. This is especially common for a main street with several sides streets intersecting it-only about one side street in ten will have a labelling for the main street as well.

Let me tell you where this is annoying. I was going to a friend's poker night, as part of his bachelor party. I had printed out a map of his neighbourhood. I came to an intersection where I had to turn right or left, but didn't know which. In Canada, no problem. Pick one way at random and see what the first side street is. If it matches the map for the direction you're supposed to be going, great. If not, turn around. Max time wasted: about 2 minutes. I walked for twenty-five minutes without a single cross street being labelled (or the main street) and without seeing a single house number either (so I couldn't even tell if the numbers were approaching my friend's number or getting further away). I lucked out and had turned the right way, but there was a 50-50 chance of that.

I dunno, maybe some people find this fun. I like surprises as much as the next person, but I don't think that figuring out where I am in an unfamiliar city is the best time and place for a guessing game. It's no wonder everyone here has satellite navigation in their car: if not, you're liable to end up in France by accident. And nobody wants that.

See the rest of my "What's with the British..." series.