"A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who hasn't sufficient capital to form a company."- Howard Scott
It's almost a rite of passage in Manchester to get your bike stolen, a rite in which I fortunately have yet to participate. My friend and flatmate Dan, combined with his prior flatmate Jono, have had six bikes and one rear wheel stolen in the past two years. My friend Mike has had a shocking eight bikes stolen in the last 15 months. And my friend Liz has had at least two stolen, possibly more. Needless to say, they have contributed well to the scuzzy section of Manchester's society. I have so far been spared, due in no small way to how little I ride my bike around town, and the fact that I have always stored it within my flat.
However, I have had my first brush with bike theft since coming to Manchester, but in a bizarre and baffling way. You see, while my bike was locked up outside of the Stopford building last Tuesday (while I was in for debating and then the post-debate pub), some punk stole some of the stuff from my bike. Specifically, he stole the rear mudguard and light, and my two water bottles. In and of itself, not that strange, but only odd once you consider what was required to do so.
You see, I recently bought a security cable. This 8-foot-long woven steel cable allows me to lock up my front wheel and wrap it around my seat, thus avoiding me needing to remove those two things. In addition, I can now lock my helmet to my bike. The end result is that I spend and extra minute or two locking up my bike, but I no longer have to haul my seat and helmet with me. I used to carry the water bottles as well, but gave up figuring they were too worthless to bother stealing. Silly me.
Anyway, this still doesn't make it weird. What makes it weird is that I can't loop the security cable through my seat, so I wrap it around the post a few times, over and under the mudguard, hopefully making it enough of a pain to get off to not make it worthwhile. The light and the mudguard both attached to the seat post. What this means is that the thieves wiggled the cable loose enough to get the seat out, pulled the seat out of the bike, thus freeing the cable. They then took the mudguard and light (original retail value combined £25 or so) and replaced the seat. The seat isn't worth a lot, but probably more than the rest combined. The light had a half-broken clip, and the mudguard was filthy. The water bottles were old and scratched. So their net benefit from this was maybe £5, if they were lucky. But the seat probably could have sold for £10 or more. So why not take it?
As I see it, there are usually two reasons for theft like this:
- Make money. Well, obviously, it's not that. Like I say, the seat was the most expensive thing they removed, and they put it back. They also overlooked the tire pump, though it's black and was obscured somewhat by the security cable, so maybe they just didn't notice that). Even if the seat weren't worth more, it's worth something, so why not take it?
- Vandalism. This pisses me off more than theft, but some people will steal or destroy things just because they like to cause harm to others. But again, in this case, why not take the seat? It'll certainly piss me off more to have to ride home without a seat and to have to replace this more-expensive item. Even if you (as the thief) don't keep it, just toss it in the bin; I'll still be equally annoyed.
I'm baffled. Also a little pissed that I now need to buy a second mudguard in as many weeks. I guess I'll have to find a way to more-securely lock up my seat.
Get a bicycle. You will not regret it, if you live.-Mark Twain
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