If I could explain it to the average person, I wouldn't have been worth the Nobel Prize.- Richard Feynman
I like to think that I'm a pretty smart guy. I graduated high school with an 88% average and undergrad with a 79% average. I'm pursuing a Ph.D. in electrical and electronic engineering that requires I bandy about terms like "focused Ion beam nanolithography" and "Laplace Deep Level Transient Spectroscopy" and know what said terms actually mean (and I even do know what they mean, mostly). Yet, for the life of me, I cannot figure out how O2 calculates my pay-as-you-go mobile phone balance.
Here's how it theoretically works: there are two plans you can be one: Talkalot and Talkalotmore. With the Talkalot plan (though it doesn't seem to say this on the page anymore), if I top up £10, I get 100 minutes any time, to either landline phones or other O2 mobiles, or 100 free texts to anyone (or any combination thereof). This gets activated more or less immediately-as soon as I top up, I get the freebie minutes. With the Talkalotmore plan, if I top up £15 per month, I get 150 minutes or texts to any phone, but only on evenings and weekends. This gets activated only if I top up every month-so I get the free minutes only if I top up £15 less than a month after I topped up £15 the last time.
These two plans can overlap. Therefore, if I top up £15 per month, I should get the 100 minutes to O2 mobile and landlines (at anytime) and the 150 minutes to any phone (on evenings and weekends only). Confusing, but at least comprehensible.
Unfortunately, the theory doesn't match the real world. Because, as far as I can tell, O2 is using some voodoo quantum mechanics math to calculate my balance. At some points in the month, I get free everything-calls at anytime, to anyone, and texts. Sometimes, texts are free but calls aren't and sometimes call are free but texts aren't. Sometimes this is true at any time of day, sometimes only on evenings and weekends. And I never understand why! It just starts charging me for certain calls, and I'm baffled as to the reason. I don't call enough to top up £15 every month, so I can understand that I don't always get the Talkalotmore bonus, but it still seems like I should be able to figure out what's going on, at least periodically.
At this point, I've given up trying to understand, and have given up caring about it. I just accept it on faith, top up when I'm low, and hope for the best. O2 sends me a text to remind me when my month is running out (i.e. when I need to top up another £15 if I want the bonus). If I'm getting kind of low (say £8 or less), I'll generally top up-otherwise I'll wait till I'm just about done.
There is a certain similarity to quantum physics with this, perhaps seeming thus to me as I'm currently reading up on the subject. Quantum physics describes, in a way classical physics does not, the workings of the very very very small objects in the universe (electrons, photons and what have you). Though the subject is broad, one of the fundamental precepts is this: there is an uncertainty to everything. Specifically, Heisenberg's uncertainty principle states that it is impossible (no matter how good your measuring devices) to accurately determine both the momentum of an object and its current position. I feel like my phone parallels this: it seems impossible for me to know both my balance and what a given call will cost me. And like quantum physics, sometimes it's just better the shrug and accept that uncertainty.
Anyone who is not shocked by quantum theory has not understood a single word.-Neils Bohr
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